Venus in the Twelfth House: Secret Love Affairs & Heartache

Venus in the Twelfth House: Secret Love Affairs & Heartache
by Carmen Turner-Schott

In our astrological chart, the planet Venus represents love, affection, beauty, and harmony. The house where Venus is placed in our natal chart will reveal our emotional expressiveness and our ability to express love. Venus will show what kind of lover we are and what traits we find attractive in others. The house where Venus sits is extremely important for our intimate relationships. It enables us to express our love nature and directs how we express that love to others. When Venus is placed within the twelfth house, there are many opportunities. The twelfth house is known as the “House of Suffering”. All issues that rule this house are kept hidden or secret. The deep secrets about our own personality, as well as our emotions are locked within this house. Having Venus placed here is an indicator of suffering through love affairs and through heartache at some time in one’s life.

Almost every astrology book you read will tell you that a Venus in the twelfth individual is destined to experience clandestine or secret love affairs. How and why does this happen? This happens because the expression of love is kept secret from others. The initial emotion of love is held within and sometimes never expressed. Individuals with this placement often find themselves in love with someone that is not free. This often manifests as falling in love with someone who is already married or committed to someone else. Below, I will show several examples of individuals that I have worked with who have experienced the intense shock of having Venus in the twelfth house.

I have studied several charts with this placement and almost every time the client reveals to me that they either had an affair, were in love with someone they could not be with, or they were in love with someone and never let them know. The first individual has the Sun and Venus in her twelfth house. She was spiritual, compassionate, and sensitive to others feelings. Happily married for three years, her life suddenly changed. She met someone at work and instantly fell in love. The connection between her and this co-worker was very strong and undeniable. The feelings were mutual between them, but they both were married with children. She described to me how devastating it was for her to feel that way about someone other than her husband. She felt intense guilt and shame for the love she had in her heart. That love was ignited and it seemed that nothing could ever shake it. This individual told me that she cried in her room each night and asked God to take away the love in her heart for the other man. The sadness in her heart was almost unbearable. She learned to live with her feelings in secret. She believed in the sanctity of marriage and she never betrayed her husband. She never told her husband about her feelings for this other man. Eventually, she moved to another state. This example illustrates how individuals with Venus in the twelfth individual’s suffer through love and relationships.

This suffering occurs because it if often inappropriate to feel and express the love they have openly. The secret nature of the twelfth house forces the Venus love energy inward, deep within and into the darkest recesses of the heart. There is often an inability to express the love nature due to material, practical, psychological or moral reasons. There was a female client that I met recently, who has the Sun and Venus in the twelfth house. She had experienced tremendous heartache and suffering with her husband for seven years. She was in an emotionally abusive marriage and did not realize that she was unhappy and lonely. One day she reconnected with an old childhood friend from her past who she had loved deeply. There was a long history between them and a deep bond that was always there no matter how much time passed. They started out writing to each other on email and the next thing she knew, her heart was ignited, opened up and energized for the first time in six years. Feeling intense love for this man again, she realized that love was always there locked deep within her heart. She felt alive for the first time in ages. Excitement and energy rushed through her veins each time she spoke to him on email. Eventually, the two of them decided to meet for lunch as friends. She did not realize what would happen to her that day and how it would change her life forever. She was walking into the fire with a bomb strapped on her back. When she saw him for the first time in seven years, she felt as though only a few hours had passed. It was as if she had known him her entire life, due to the deep, comfortable, feelings that she had instantly for him. She fell in love with him all over again. The problem was that he was happily married and did not want to change his life. She knew that he loved her deeply, but she knew it was not fair to ask him to change for her. She was in a miserable marriage and was desperately seeking love. She just did not realize she would find it with him all over again. The day she saw him changed her life forever. She decided to stop the communication with him, because it was too painful for her. Eventually she separated from her husband, even though she knew she was in love with someone she could never have. To this day she still loves him in secret and keeps those loving feelings in her heart hidden from everyone she knows.

Many individuals with Venus in the twelfth house experience secret love affairs. Sometimes the feelings are acted on and other times they are kept hidden and repressed. Not all individuals with Venus in the twelfth will cheat on their spouse, but many will have “emotional affairs” because of the energy of this placement. Even the most moral, committed and happily married individual can fall prey to this placement. I have seen it hundreds of times with clients and with friends in my life. This placement of Venus is extremely difficult, but with understanding and compassion these individuals will eventually heal. Suffering arises as a result of the situations that these individuals find themselves in. It is important for anyone with this placement to truly look within and be honest about their emotions. If you have Venus in the twelfth house and have experienced relationships like the ones described above, remember that you have free will and choice as to how you respond to this placement. The energy here will eventually manifest, but with extra knowledge you can become aware and empowered. The more I research this placement, the more I believe in destiny. These individuals are destined to experience these types of relationships and secret love affairs for their growth. Everything that we go through is meant for our learning and our soul’s evolution. Try to look as this placement as a teacher of what healthy relationships symbolize for you and fight to resist this energy.

You have the power to make choices for your own life and when you feel the energy is overwhelming you to act, step back, relax and try to find a way to change the future. My goal is to use astrology to help others experience greater self awareness and to understand themselves better. By doing this, we can come to better accept ourselves and our own actions. If you experience these situations in your life, look to your natal chart and see if Venus is in the twelfth. If it is, try to remember that this is planetary energy expressing itself. You have experiences and karma to learn and go through, plain and simple. Trust yourself and trust in the power of experience. Try not to blame yourself if you fall prey to this intense placement. It is a part of your soul’s journey.